Chapter 20: Robe and Dagger

A servant was waiting for them in the parking lot when they landed.  As Tatiana watched him push a button on the side of the drone, she slapped her forehead, “I’m an idiot.”

“It wouldn’t have worked if you pushed it,” Kadeem remarked, “I programmed it not to recognize you or Alister.”

“Speaking of Alister,” Tatiana pointed at his limp form on the stretcher, “Is he okay?”

Kadeem approached the stretcher, surveying Alister from head to toe.  Alister opened his eyes a crack and signed to Kadeem.

“What did he say?” Tatiana asked as the servant wheeled away the stretcher.

“None of your business,” Kadeem marched towards the Holy Place, pausing to call over his shoulder, “Are you coming?”

Tatiana followed him into the building.  He led her to a familiar looking room, the phone still on the desk exactly as she had left it.  As soon as Kadeem left, she stripped off her clothes and jumped into the shower.  Midway through, it occurred to her that she wasn’t supposed to get her cast wet.  She stuck the cast outside the curtain and continued her ablutions.  After showering, she lay on the bed in a stupor.  Too much had been happening too fast, and unable to process it all, her mind simply shut down.  

There was a knock at the door, and Tatiana wrapped a sheet around herself and staggered across the room to open the door a crack.  She could see the flutter of red robes as a servant walked away from her room.  A neatly folded robe sat on the ground with an orange sash on top.  Thrilled, Tatiana picked up the pile and donned her orange belt.  “Look who’s moving up the ladder,” she said to herself.  The phone rang and she answered it guiltily, as if the person on the other end of the line had heard her.

“Her Holiness Priest Mina would be pleased if Your Holiness would join her for dinner,” Kadeem said politely.

“Who are you and what have you done with Kadeem?”

“We shall see you shortly,” Kadeem hung up with a click.

Tatiana adjusted her sash and exited into the hallway.  With no idea which direction to go, she turned right and followed the corridor around until it branched off.  Spotting two servants, she ran after them.  “Excuse me, can you tell me how to get to, uh, the dining room, I guess?”

“Is Your Holiness dining with others or by herself?” the woman responded with lowered eyes.

“I’m supposed to meet Mina, I mean, Her Holiness Mina.”

“If it pleases Your Holiness to follow me,” the woman turned and headed down the left side of the fork.  

Tatiana trailed behind her, slightly unnerved by her deference.  No one in Egregia would ever behave that way.  The hallway continued in a loop, terminating at a set of double doors.  The servant opened the doors and bowed.  Tatiana stepped inside, her jaw slackening with amusement as she took in the room.  A long table that could comfortably sit twenty was set for four.  There was a plate at each end, one in the middle, with the final place setting to the right of the foot.  The table was dressed in a white tablecloth with a rainbow runner, two heavy candelabra filling in the empty space.  Tatiana chose the spot in the center.  No sooner had she pulled out her chair, than Mina entered the room flanked by Kadeem.

“Good to see you again, Tatiana,” Mina smiled and sat at one end of the table.

“Good to see you too, uh, is Alister okay?”

Before Mina could answer, the doors opened again and Alister limped into the room sitting gingerly next to Kadeem.

“Let’s get down to business,” Mina’s face turned serious, “I have a serious problem on my hands: two priests left Citadel without permission from the Order, and were planning a rebellion.”

“We weren't planning a rebellion,” signed Alister, “We went to serve a group of people who had no priest.”

“If your intent was holy, you should have asked permission from the Order instead of sneaking out a side door.”

“The weakness of a chain-of-command systems lays in their unquestioning deference to higher-ups,” Alister reached over and moved the candelabra off the table, “I accept full responsibility for subverting the system.”

“Full responsibility?” Mina placed a notebook on the table, “For this too?”

“I don't know what that is,” Alister’s brows pinched together.

Tatiana eyed the notebook with a slow dawning realization.  With its plain red cover and wire binding, it could belong to anyone.  But even from across the table she could make out the lazy figure eights she had drawn across the cover.  It was the notebook she had written in during the long quiet days in Tate's cabin, the notebook that had caught her tears and captured her dreams.  

Mina flipped open the notebook and read from a page, “‘What would happen if every cursed person rushed the gates of Citadel?’” she flipped a few pages forward, “or how about this one: ‘Every citizen of Citadel should call their priest, and if he won’t listen they should overthrown him.’”  Mina closed the notebook, “The ideas in this book are sacrilegious and an affront to the beliefs of the Order.”

“How did you get my notebook?” Tatiana couldn't help but feel for the ridge of her current notepad inside her sash.

“Kadeem turned it over to me,” Mina looked sternly at her, “I have no choice but to hold both of you on a travel restriction.  You are to remain in this Holy Place until further notice.”

“Is that all?” Alister rose from his chair.

“Dinner should be here any minute.  Don’t you want to eat?” Mina’s forehead creased with concern.

“I’m not hungry,” Alister put a hand against the wall to steady himself as he left.  Kadeem took his arm, and Alister jerked away from him.

“Here we go again,” Tatiana remarked as they left the room.

Mina looked at her thoughtfully, “You don’t act like a woman in love.”

“Uh, why would I?”

“Kadeem said that you were in love with Alister and I should keep you two separate.”

“Right.  I’m in love with a perpetually moody asexual priest who only wants me for my . . .” Tatiana sucked in her bottom lip.  

“Notebook,” finished Mina.  Behind her a servant set down a plate of rice.  

Tatiana blinked at her, “He didn't know about that notebook.”

Mina waited for the servant to set down a bowl of yellow curry before responding, “I understand where you're coming from, but trying to start a city of refuge is a bad idea.”

“I don't think I-”

“Let me finish,” Mina put some rice on her plate, “First of all, you would have to find a border town that agrees not only to accept the cursed, but to legally protect them.  Secondly, you're going to have a lot of backlash from people you would otherwise like.  They will do everything in their power to stop you, because they are afraid of the cursed.”

“I never wrote down anything like that,” Tatiana reached across the table for the notebook.  Instead, Mina slid the rice in her direction.  It stopped short of reaching distance, and Tatiana stood.

“Move your plate closer so we can talk,” Mina labeled curry over her rice, “Anyway, it’s obvious that this isn't really your notebook.  I know you're trying to defend Alister, but you shouldn't.  Everyone knows he’s a rebel, that he’ll try to escape, blah-blah-blah.  But you, we could probably get out of here.  You were just following orders.”

Tatiana sat to the right of Mina and reached for the rice, “But that's not true.”

“Never go into politics,” Mina took a bite of curry.

Tatiana spooned curry over the rice, watching the yellow broth soak into the rice.  The tofu remained at the top, flanked by carrots and onions.  Politics was a good word for it.  At the moment she couldn’t tell who was on her side and who was against her.  Even Kadeem was behaving oddly.  She took a bite of the curry as she turned it over in her head.  It was heavy with coconut milk, the punch of spice hitting the back of her tongue like a pleasant aftertaste.

“Well, if you’re going to be here for a while, I’m going to give you homework.  I’d like you to start reading The Enchiridion,” Mina speared a piece of tofu with her fork and waved it at her, “I’m assuming you’ve never read it before.”

After dinner, a servant escorted her to her room.  She tried calling her parents, but could not dial out of the building.  With a slow-rising sense of anxiety, she opened the door to her room.  A male and female servant sat on either side of her door.  “Your Holiness is to stay in her room by order of her Holiness Mina,” the male intoned.

Tatiana shut the door without responding.  Reluctantly, she opened the heavy book on her desk, reading the first words of The Enchiridion.  “In the beginning,” she read, “there was song.”

Chapter 19: Beauty and the Dragons

“No, it's my fault.  I said some things I shouldn't have this morning,” Carl's voice seemed to come out of nowhere.

A weariness pressed down on Tatiana like a weighted blanket, so heavy she couldn't open her eyes.

“And Bill says nothing.  Of course this can't be his fault.  Nothing is ever his fault,” Amber’s tone was caustic.

Alister was retorting, his irritation obvious in the sounds he made.  

“Ooo, burn.  I don't know if I should translate that,” Carl laughed.

“Hellfire and damnation, but too chicken to say it to my face.”

“Yeah, I am.”

The room went quiet, the popping of the fire the only sound.  Tatiana could feel her consciousness receding.  The next thing she was aware of was music.  “Tate,” she thought, “Tate’s here.”  

“Mommy, is she going to die?” said a little voice.

“I hope not, Honey,” the voice was familiar, but Tatiana couldn't quite place it.  

“Mommy.  Mommy.  They found her in the cemetery?”

“Yes  Anabelle, now no more questions.”

“It’s okay,” Carl responded, “Anabelle, you know the story of Beauty and the Beast?”

“Uh-huh.”

“Once upon a time, a beautiful woman put a curse on a man to live as a beast.  The Beast hid in the woods until he met a Witch and they fell in love.”

“That’s not how it goes,” Anabelle interrupted.

“Well, that's how this story goes.  Do you want to hear it or not?”

“I guess so,” Anabelle conceded.

“One day Beast found Beauty sleeping in the woods.  He took her home and played music to her until she awoke.”

“That's Sleeping Beauty,” complained Anabelle.

“She lived with him in the forest until a Dragon took the Witch captive and held her in a tower.  When the Dragon saw Beauty, he was so smitten, that he agreed to trade the Witch for Beauty.  But Beast had tricked the Dragon, and tried to take both women with him.  While they were escaping, Beast fell from the tower and died.  The Witch escaped from the tower, but the Dragon caught Beauty before she could make it to safety.  Everyday Beauty would cry for Beast, and her tears watered the roses that climbed the sides of the castle.”

“Then what happened?”

“That’s it.  That's the end.”

“She never escaped the dragon?” Anabelle sounded near tears.

“That’s enough, Carl,” said a woman’s voice.

The fiddle music stopped, “Oh, but he left out the best part.”  It was Mike’s voice, “You see, Beauty’s tears were magic and after she cried a hundred tears, Beast came back to life.  They kissed and he transformed into a human.  And they lived happily ever after.”

Anabelle sniffed, “That's not what really happened though, is it Daddy?”

“Of course it is,” Mike bowed a few notes, “we dragons just have to help her get there.”

“Daddy!  Daddy!” Anabelle’s voice went up in pitch with excitement, “Look!  She’s crying!”

Tatiana could feel the hot tears flooding her eyes and spilling down her cheeks.  She willed herself to move, focusing all of her energy on her left pinky finger.  It was impossibly heavy, and she felt herself drifting away into a warm darkness.

“Bee,” Tate said her name clearly.  She was laying on his grave, the grass prickling her back.  Tate leaned over her, sniffing her neck.  

“Why can't I wake up?” she asked him.  He nuzzled her neck, his sniffs turning into bites.  Tatiana gasped as his teeth tore at her throat, warm blood trickling down the sides of her neck.

She sat up, sucking air as she broke out of the waters of unconsciousness.  The room around her swung into focus.  Amber stood over her, her red hair in braids.  Alister hovered at the foot of the bed, the fiddle in his hands.  The cabin was strangely different, boughs of dogwood hanging over the door and a braid of herbs encircling the worn center post.

Her right hand itched and she scratched it with her left.  Something was taped to her hand, and she tried to pull it off.

“No, no, no,” Amber grabbed her hand, “It’s intravenous antibiotics.”

“How long was I . . . What happened to me?”   

Amber let out her breath in a puff, then pulled up a chair and sat in it.  “Put simply, your soul got knocked loose from your body,” Amber looked at her lap, “I have to get back to my booth.”  Standing, she faced Alister, “Bill, I swear, if you do anything stupid, I’m putting a hex on you.”  Amber picked up a basket and hurried out the door.

Tatiana’s hand brushed a lump in her pillow, and as she turned it a charm made of bird feathers and wooden beads rolled from underneath.  “How long was I out?” she ran the feathers over her cheek.

Alister reached across the bed and retrieved her notepad.  “You were out for about ten hours,” he wrote, “Promise me you won't do that again.”

Tatiana took the notepad from him, “Amber asked me to bless my patron’s grave.  He was her boyfriend.  I’m a horrible person.”

“It wasn't your choice, dear one.  You must always remember that.  You didn't kill your patron.  You didn't force him to choose you,” Alister’s fingers tightened around the pen.  “You did NOTHING wrong,” he wrote in large letters.

Alister’s writing took up the rest of the page, so she flipped to the back and wrote, “I just feel so lost right now.”

Alister snatched the pen from her, “I have no problem guiding you.  Here’s your orders: 1. You are going to help me get rid of that wall.  2. You are not allowed to leave me until the cursed and holy live side-by-side.  3. Act like a priest.”

Irritated, Tatiana snapped the notepad shut.  Outside there was the whirring sound of a drone passing overhead.  The noise increased until the cabin was vibrating with the hum of the rotors.  The roof groaned then splintered, a metal talon ripping the beams away.  Alister grabbed her and shoved her part way underneath the bed, covering her body with his.  The thunder of the propellers increased, until it became a physical sensation.  For a moment there was only darkness and thrumming.  Then abruptly, Alister was ripped off of her, his body flopping like a lifeless doll in the clutches of the drone.   Tatiana lunged for a broken board.  Feeling the tug of the IV on her hand, she tore free of it and grabbed her weapon.  She swung the board wildly, hitting Alister as often as she hit the drone.

“I forgot how stubborn you are,” a voice came from a speaker mounted on the front, “That’s not going to do anything, Princess.”

Tatiana stopped mid-swing, “Kadeem?!”

There was a grinding sound as a set of aluminum stairs unfolded.  “You can climb in, or, I can come back and take you by force.”

Tatiana grabbed the bottom step with her good hand.  Unable to pull herself up, she lost her grip and sat down in the rubble.

“Climb up the side of that thing over there, then you’ll be able to reach.”

“That thing over there used to be a wall,” she grumbled.  Scaling the pile of debris was trickier than it looked.  It shifted unpredictably under her weight, and she ended up on all threes, inching her way up towards the hovering drone.  At the top of the pile, she stood warily and jumped towards the stairs.  For one dizzying moment, she thought she would fall, then she felt the lowest tread under her feet.  Jittering up to the top of stairs, she ducked in the drone and collapsed on the bench.  The stairs retracted back into the drone and Kadeem tapped on the console.

“You’re gonna be in big trouble when we get back to Citadel,” Kadeem’s lips curled into a smug grin.

“Ooooo, I’m so scared,” Tatiana clicked her seat belt into place as the drone ascended, “What are a bunch of celibate vegans going to do to me?”

“Just because they’re vegans doesn’t mean they can’t kill you.  It just means they won’t eat you afterwards.”

“Are we talking about cannibalism or vore?” Tatiana looked Kadeem up and down.  His robes were dark under the arms, his blue hair oily.  He must have reached Citadel only to turn around and come back for his master.  

“You’re lucky Alister is below deck right now.”

“Yeah, yeah, ‘act like a priest,’” Tatiana clicked on the center display to see where they were headed.  “That’s where Mina lives,” she commented tapping the screen.

“Who did you think loaned me the drone?” Kadeem batted her hand away from the screen.  “Anyway, if anyone can set Alister straight, it’s her.  She has a way about her.”

Chapter 18: The Ignorant Guard

Alister was missing when she awoke.  She stretched her left arm above her head and stared at the ceiling.  The wood was jointed so tightly that it appeared to be one solid piece.  Part of her admired it, while another part of her longed for the kinks that admitted sunlight as well as rain.  “A guard will not allow entry to neither friend nor foe,” she said to herself.  It was a silly proverb.  She could never figure out why the guard wouldn't know who was a friend, or at least ask the person they were guarding.  

Suddenly restless, Tatiana sat up and dangled her legs over the side of the bed.  Nudging the fiddle with her toe, she could feel a lightheadedness steal over her.  She shifted away from it and stood.  There was still a lingering sense of foreboding tickling the edges of her consciousness, and her right arm still burned with a simmering ache.  Propelled by the urgency in her bladder, Tatiana stepped outside and ducked around the rear of the cabin.  As she rounded the corner, she nearly bumped into Carl, who was urinating into a pit.  “Sorry,” Tatiana turned back towards the front of the cabin.

“Don’t go too far, Tati,” Carl called after her.

“I kind of have to go too,” she shuffled her feet.

A few moments later, Carl joined her, “I have the blessings for you to give to Amber.”  He dug in his pocket and placed them in her palm.

“Thanks,” she hurried back behind the cabin.  There were other things she should say to Carl, but right now she was intent on relieving herself.  As she squatted over the pit, she tried to compose her thoughts.  “Last night wasn’t what it looked like.”  No, too cliche and not what she was trying to communicate.  “I’m so glad we’re becoming friends.”  Oh, that was cruel.  By the time she reached the front of the cabin, she couldn’t think of a single thing to say.  It was none of his business anyway, and if he didn’t ask, well that was on him.

Carl was waiting for her in front of the door, “I’ll walk you to Amber’s stall.”  

“Where’s Alister?”

“He’s already at the market, trying to sign people up for his revolution or whatever,” Carl slowed his pace, “Slow down, I need to talk to you.”  He looked at her, his face serious, his eyes a steady red, “I-I like you Tatiana.”

Tatiana cringed involuntarily.  Her mind scrambled for a way to let him down easy.  There it was, “I’m a priest, I can’t get involved with anyone.”

“You can’t have sex, no one said you can’t love,” Carl took her hand in his.

“No,” Tatiana jerked her hand away from his, “I like someone else.”

Carl seemed to wilt on his feet, his head and shoulders sagging, “I had a feeling you would say that.  But he will never love you the way I can.”  He looked at her, defiance flashing in his eyes, “You will never be happy.”

“Happy,” Tatiana tasted the word, “Happy is overrated.”  The anger built slowly inside of her, percolating up from the depths of her ego.  How dare Carl say those things to her?  He had known her for only a few weeks at the most.  A few very intense weeks; weeks of pain, terror, and intimacy.  It really did seem much longer.  She walked faster, ignoring the smarting of her blisters and the ache that slowly spread from her arm through her whole body.  Carl kept pace with her, occasionally glancing in her direction.  She kept her eyes fixed on the ground in front of her.  It was such a short distance, but her discomfort made it seem twice as long.  Finally she stood in front of Amber’s stall, a sense of relief spreading through her.

Amber, in the middle of serving a customer, waved at her.  Tatiana sidled up to the table, fishing the blessings out of her robe.  She counted them to be sure she had them all, then slid them across the table towards Amber.

“Thanks, Bianca,” Amber placed the blessings in her pouch, “I made some more ointment for you and some horsetail tea for your arm.”

“It’s been hurting lately,” Tatiana conceded, “so thanks.”

Amber’s eyes wandered over her face and down to her arm.  She placed the back of her hand on Tatiana’s forehead, “You’re running a fever.  Do those idiot Marshalls know your arm is infected?”

“Infected?  You think so?” Tatiana looked at her right hand.  The skin was redder than normal, and the whole arm felt stiff.

“You know, the Devils could probably get their hooves on some penicillin.”

“I don’t really want to talk to them right now,” Tatiana frowned.

“You and me both,” Amber pulled a paper sign out from behind the table.  “The Witch Will Be Right Back,” it said in bubbly cursive.  “Want to go pay respects with me?” Amber stood up.

“I don’t have anywhere else to be, so sure,” Tatiana also had no idea what she was talking about.

Amber picked up a bouquet of yarrow mixed with white dogwood blossoms in front of her booth. “Back the way you came,” she ordered.  Bianca headed back towards the cottages that bordered the market.  They stopped in front of a cabin.  Amber ducked inside, returning with a set a grass shears.  They continued walking until the path ended at a fenced area.  A sign hung above the gate carved with the words “Comedunt non dormiunt.”  

“What does that mean?” Tatiana hovered by the gate while Amber stepped inside.

“Something about not being able to rest in peace or something,” Amber held the gate for her, “You coming?”

Tatiana peeked inside.  The grass was patchy and weeds had invaded the ground.  Stones chiseled with varying degrees of skill marked the spots where the dead lay.  Tatiana entered the graveyard, walking over to the spot where Amber knelt.  Amber replaced the flowers, then started trimming the grass next to the grave.  Tatiana’s eyes traced the letters on the stone, “Tate Harper, CND.”  

“Would you bless his grave?” Amber looked up at her from her crouch, her eyes beseeching.

Tatiana shook her head.  She could still feel the jolt that had sang through her the last time she had blessed Tate.  

“I guess you hate him,” Amber pulled a weed, placing it on top of the discarded bouquet.

“No, I-” Tatiana looked at Amber.  Hearing her pause, Amber stopped digging and looked up at her.  Tatiana took a deep breath, “I’m afraid. I know that sounds silly, but . . . uh, Tate is uh, my, um . . .”

Amber’s face seemed to go through contortions as Tatiana stammered.  “Patron,” she announced, sitting back on her tailbone, “I guess I already knew that, or thought it might be.”  Amber touched the ground gently, “He shouldn’t be here then.  He should be burned and scattered over the creek.”

Tatiana’s knees went weak and she sat next to Amber on the grave, “I tried to bless him and it almost killed me.  I’m sorry Amber.”

“It’s not fair,” Amber grabbed a clump of grass in her fist, “Why not me?  Why do you get to be the one?”

“Uh,” Tatiana fumbled for words, “It was an accident.”

“Hah,” Amber ripped the grass from the ground, the earth clinging to its roots, “You must think I’m stupid.  I was a servant of the Order, you know, before I was cursed.”  Amber sniffed, “I know how it works, okay?  If I hadn't loved Tate with my whole being, it could have been me.”  Amber stood up, kicking the flowers across the grave, “I’m not okay with that!  I refuse to believe in a god that's so cruel.”

Tatiana put her hand on the stone.  A feeling of desolation welled up inside her and she suddenly recalled Tate saying he didn't know who Amber was.  “In the beginning there was,” Tatiana mumbled, then everything went black.